Masterchef [repurposed]

by ccrrll

Your dish lacks seasoning and sharpness.  There is a roundness, a creepiness to it which doesn’t quite fit in with the other juicier, brighter elements.  There are also many technical errors.  Most of the dish is has been scorched rather badly, and it puts me to mind of the night my house caught fire, when everyone was screaming, yelling for someone to help them, but no one came.  However,  aspects of the dish remain entirely uncooked, I can see a pinkish liquid oozing across the plate.  It seems that parts of the animal that you have prepared are still alive. I can detect movement, and there is a claw or tooth mark of some description on the plate.  There is a grotesqueness to your cooking which alarms me.  You have prepared a dark and terrible dish for us today.  Your flavours have disturbed me.


Originally published on 18th January 2012 here